If you have been standing in front of the mirror saying your “I am” statements with chest, but still aren’t within sniffing’s distance of feeling abundant, brave or joy… I feel you.
I was the same. Maybe it will just take a little more time, I thought. Perhaps if I say them louder, repeat them more often, look myself directly in the eye, say them in the morning, or in the evening or even listen to them while I sleep I will get the results I want.
To be honest, it took me a while to figure out that the way we have been taught to do affirmations is a con.
The Affirmation Con
The idea on face value makes sense. Repeating a statement over and over again until it seeps into your subconscious mind and eventually become your reality is more than plausible.
Our minds are constantly being programmed in one way or another. The content we consume and the way we are spoken to or speak to ourselves all combine to form belief systems that our behaviour is a direct result of.
But I want you to answer this: how many times do you think you would have to say: “I am perspicacious” before you became perspicacious?
Do you even know what perspicacious means?
And that’s the problem with “I am” statements.
Most people repeat these affirmations without even defining or understanding concepts such as love, abundance, courage, joy etc.
Without that definition and understanding, what is your subconscious mind supposed to do with the affirmations you are feeding it? It’s almost like giving it an instruction manual for an appliance you don’t even own.
Realising this was a game changer for me and by making a few tweaks, I was able to connect with and therefore embody my affirmations much quicker with higher results.
Here are my tips for tweaking your affirmations for maximum success.
- Turn one affirmation into many
Instead of saying just saying “I am love”, brainstorm all the elements you can think of that are direct spin offs of that one statement. For example: I understand what love means, I know what it means to be loved, I understand how to love, I know what love looks like, I know what love feels like etc.
It wasn’t until I started exploring why affirmations did not always work that I realised people tend to have different relationships with each aspect of their statement. For example, you may have a clear definition of what love means, but do not know what love feels like. Breaking your affirmation down in this way allows you to do the shadow work needed to clear any negative experiences associated to your affirmation.
- Journal each statement
This is your chance to really explore your true beliefs and experiences attached to each affirmation. Start your journal with your statement e.g. “I know what love feels like’’ and I discuss with yourself.
You might start off thinking you don’t know what love feels like because you have never experienced it, so write about how its absence has made you feel. Get it all out and release on the paper. Don’t be afraid to step into the shadow.
Keep on exploring and writing until you have come up with your own definition of what love should feel like.
By the time you have finished writing, you should be in a position to fully agree with the statement.
- Affirm it
Now that you have explored your affirmation statements, you may want to collapse them back into their bigger concept e.g. “I am love”, or you may prefer to keep them as individual statements.
I prefer to keep them as individual statements because it reminds me of all the aspects that make up that concept such as: my understanding of it, how it feels, what it looks like, how I accept it and how I give it.
Do the work not the words
I smile as I write this because I know there will probably be more than a few of you out there who read this and think “long ting”. But the biggest con about affirmations is that you can just do the words and not the work.
If you’re not prepared to show up for yourself and put the work in, no amount of “I ams” will work.
If you are prepared to put in the work, but are just a little intimidated about where to start, give me a shout. I can help you connect with your purpose and clear out any obstacles that are slowing your progress.